What is Your Definition of Success?

I'm successful because I do what I love.  I pursue what I'm attracted to.  My definition of success might be different from yours and that's cool.  Isn't it wonderful that we all don't want the same thing? Pursue your passion and the most high will surround you with more of that and you can't help but to be a success.

You're Fresh....Stupid Fresh!

Taking time to meditate helps me in so many ways. I'm sure that everyone can relate to what I'm feeling when I say it's hard not to go off on people. Just because I don't learn the way that you learn, act the way that you act, dress the way that you dress or laugh at all of your jokes doesn't make me less smarter, less creative,  and less aware of what's going on. I myself like to listen, I like to observe, I like to contemplate. I like genuine conversation, warm smiles and silence even in the presence of another. I'm not that good at pretending I wear my feelings on my face. It's sad that long after high school some people are still concerned with cliques, and how others perceive them. I don't care about any of that; I never have and I never will. I've been there done that!

I was always waiting for others to include me and make feel fresh. I always needed validation from other people. I was never cool, as a matter of fact I was painfully awkward, and  it was always like people went out of their way to point out my differences. I didn't realize my differences and  my awkwardness is what made and makes me special. As a matter of fact most models are as tall as me or taller. Most artists are eccentric and seem aloof; every great martyr has been publicly humiliated and experienced a turn of events that knocked them out of their shell and into the forefront of issues whether publicly or privately.

I needed so much from others not realizing that everything I ever wanted is within me. Self discovery is amazing; you start to embrace the awkwardness that people once ridiculed and  you now see this awkwardness as something special. I’m something special,you’re something special, we're all special in the eyes of the most high. I’m fresh! I’m stupid fresh! I’m dope, I’m cool, I’m fly, I’m hot, I’m everything that they told me I’m not…..and so are you!  You’re dope , you’re cool, you’re fly, you’re fresh….stupid fresh as a matter of fact. Take time to go within. Spend quality time with yourself. Enjoy the uniqueness that is you. Enjoy the beauty that is you, your smile, your eyes, your hair, your toes, your nose.....just take time to appreciate the being that you are. For many years I wouldn't look in the mirror...I stopped taking pictures, and I let myself go because I didn't like myself. I didn't like the person that I thought I saw. I realized I didn't like other peoples criticisms of me. What they were seeing in me was actually what they didn't like about themselves. Since I started my meditation practice I have slowly begun to fall in love with me again. I'm in love in a spiritual sense not a physical or material sense. I realize that my personality is not who I am, what I wear is not who I am, but the person that I am is the light inside of me that can only be detected by others in search of light. Light recognizes light. Real recognizes real.

No matter how long it takes to accept yourself the way that the most high created you once you see yourself for who you are there is no turning back. You will no longer accept the lies that were told to you. It’s never too late to wipe the crust out of your eyes. It’s never too late to see yourself as you really are; it’s never too late to find your talent, your gift, and your purpose.  It’s never too late to shine.

You’re dope, you’re cool, you’re fly, you’re fresh…. you're stupid fresh!

~One Love

Carry On!

Hello to all of you that come across this post. I've been M.I.A l. I know. I haven't been my usual self. I'm usually as chill as a Zen master but for the past few months I must admit that I've been irritable and have had no patience for what I consider to be b.s... if you know what I mean. Choosing not to always go with the flow, choosing not to hold back tears, facing  and feeling what's going on inside can be very lonely because people don't really want to know what you are going through. They can listen to your problems and offer words of encouragement, but at some point they will basically tell you to get over it. So you try to get over it. I tried to get over this hypersensitivity and awareness of my feelings with little success, and now I was on the verge of having a mental and emotional breakdown because I just couldn't get over it.  This time around I had to feel what I was feeling....

I'm doing a lot better and I am ready to share and connect with people again. In going through this process here is what I learned:

1. Listen to the voice inside of you trying to get your attention.

2. Look within: devote 20 minutes a day for meditation and introspection.  This is a good time to write down what you're feeling. Some problems seem so petty after seeing them on paper.

3.Get up and get moving. It can be very hard to get out of bed and open up the blinds, but you have to do it.

4. Be your own best friend. Go to the park,  listen to music,  lounge around watching movies that make you feel good.

5. Turn off the news, Get off of social media for a while until you are strong enough to ignore the negative suggestions.

6. Aromatherapy helps tremendously when feeling down. I burn lemon oil during the day, and lavender oil at night to help with insomnia.

7. Find a group or a cause to get involved with.
8. Exercise is an amazing stress reliever. I love my Zumba classes and going to yoga.

9. Talk to your doctor,  you may need a blood test to check for anemia which could be an underlying cause of depression, anxiety,  or insomnia. Our body has a way of letting us know that something is just not right. You may need to adjust your diet or add supplements into your daily regimen. Increasing water and cutting back on caffeine can make a big difference in how you feel.

10. Trust yourself andbe kind to yourself so that you are able to be  kind to others. Don't force issues...be detached.

I hope these tips help you just a little bit while on this journey called life. Sometimes we have to stop and rest, and connect with ourselves  and stay true to who we really are and are who we are truly meant to be.

~One Love

YEEZUS...... Hold Fast to Your Dreams!!!

Dreams

Hold Fast To Your Dreams,

For if Dreams Die 

Life is a broken-winged bird 

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams 

For when dreams go

Life is a Barren Field 

Frozen with Snow.

~Langston Hughes

The Other night I went to check out the Yeezus Tour with Kanye West and Kendrick Lamar. All that I can say is that the concert was amazing! Love him or hate him Kanye is a source of inspiration for many. I love hip-hop because it's just poetry over music. How we choose to interpret it is up to us. 

Dreams by Langston Hughes is one of my favorite poems and one of the first poems that I memorized as a child. Dreams has always resonated with me even until today. I am not going to review the concert because there were so many highlights for me I could probably write a book, but when Kanye went on one of his famous "Rants" he said something that stuck with me and I wanted to share his words with  you....

"There are two types of people in the world; there are dreamers and there are haters....the only difference between  dreamers and haters is that haters have forgotten their dreams!"  

Hold fast to your dreams and keep going for it, working towards it, preparing for the moment when opportunity knocks. No matter how small or how big your dream may be keep working to make it a reality. For most of my life I let people tell me who and what I should be, how I should act, and what I should say. I almost forgot what it was that I really wanted out of life ,but as I am rekindling a relationship with my true self I don't know how I could had pushed all of my dreams aside. When I am pursuing what I love I am alive. When I write this blog, when I travel, every time that I attempt a new language I am alive, every time that I write a line of poetry I feel connected to the universe. Dreams have nothing to do with money, but money is definitely a residual effect for passionately pursuing what you love to do. 

Do you want to live or do you want to be alive? Don't let your dreams die.........

~One Love

Meet Ebony Love……Southern Hip-Hop Soul Singer!

"The Anti-Toxin is Here!" ~Ebony Love

"To touch people through song, words, expression, to be the other option. To bring balance, feed and lift spirits, to be medicine..sugar coated medicine for the world. I'm the Anti Toxin!" Ebony Love

A few  months ago I was hanging out after work with a friend at Cloud IX on Peters Street in the Castleberry Hill section of Atlanta. Everybody at the spot was going nuts over Kendrick Lamar’s verse on the Big Sean track Control. “Real Hip-Hop is back….He murdered the track” was what people were saying as the song played. I was thinking to myself this is how music is supposed to make you feel all of the time. I am all about music that stirs up strong emotions in the people listening to it. It was a good day for Hip-Hop! After having a bite to eat I decided to take a stroll in the neighborhood to see what else was going on and I came across another event taking place. I took a peek inside and realized that it was a music showcase featuring female artists called Hip Hop in High Heels. So me being me I wanted to hear more! I went inside and started asking who was on stage.  The singer was so pretty and had a real cool vibe.I never heard her music before so I started asking around about the performer. That night must have been my lucky night because I started chatting with her producer D.J. Burn One! I am a big Yelawolf fan so I recognized his name immediately and ironically I follow him on Instagram. He informed me that the singer on stage was his artist Ebony Love. I took a few photos with him and left.  As I was walking to my car I saw Ebony Love sitting outside relaxing and my usually shy self told her that I really enjoyed her showcase and that I wanted to write about her performance and her music. She wanted to know more about Femme Noire Atl and what  I write about. She was so sweet and had great energy! That night I went home and listened to anything that I could find by Ebony Love.

Singer songwriter and Atlanta native Ebony Love is on fire; she has written songs  and has been featured on tracks with some of  the music industry’s hottest rappers such as Lil' Wayne,Rick Ross, Gorilla Zoe, Gucci Mane, Young Joc, 2 Chainz ,8 Ball and Trina just to name a few.  Ebony love describes herself as “A bridge. A bridge between the races, classes, and generations.”  That explains her ability to work with so many artists but still maintain her own unique style and sound.   Her single “Jezebel Wins” is a powerful  track with  a strong message for girls that want to be  so called “Bad B’s”. She totally deconstructs the myth that being a Bad B is glamorous!  The song describes the harsh reality of the way women are treated when they disrespect themselves trying to impress men in the music industry.

Ebony Love was nice enough to take out time to talk to my readers about her journey and her music.

What inspires you to write?

The world is my muse. I'm a people lover. I absorb and gather inspiration from real life situations or even from a look in a stranger’s eyes. I write a lot about my own life and the journey that I’m on. I write about what others may be thinking, but are afraid to say. I also am inspired by the illusion of life. I write to make people think, not necessarily to think like I think but to think for themselves and not take things at face value based on tradition or, habit. My music is a firsthand account of mind states and mindsets. I find inspiration in honesty. Being able to express myself freely; my fears, my doubts,  my questions, my confusion, my love, my lust, my desires and feelings. The music itself always is a major inspiration. The music itself has a voice, words yet unspoken. I listen to what it is saying and translate it into melody and lyrics.

Femme Noire Atl. Was created to uplift, motivate, and inspire. I suffered from anxiety and depression at one point in my life until I found meditation and yoga. My readers are also looking for ways to lead a more peaceful and balanced life. How do you find Zen with such a hectic schedule?

My daily Zen pill—

“I find peace in accepting, just letting go, and letting things be. Just being able to say you know what? Fu**k it!!!  Mainly it’s the knowledge that what is supposed to be will be. Knowing God is in control….now mind you this is and will be an ongoing exercise; this finding peace thing!! It’s a daily thing….challenge by challenge. I heard it gets easier with practice! I have to remind myself of this daily.

Once in the middle of an anxiety attack, I ran outside for some fresh air and sunshine in my backyard and next thing you know I was searching for four leaf clovers.  Next thing you know I was gathering one of all the different classifications of wild flowers in my backyard and discovering ALL of the different textures of moss back there. I had forgotten about whatever it was that I was stressing over.

If you look on my Instagram you will see some pics of me climbing trees and hanging upside down from tree limbs. That was another day I needed some emergency ZEN. I hadn't been in a tree in years. A totally spontaneous gesture... and it worked! BIIIIIG FUN too!! I guess my spirit knows that nature is a healer.

Other than that I go to this Rock Preserve by my house. I climb a big rock, get up there real high. I talk to the trees and nature and sip wine!! Come down…Climb another boulder then I do it all again!”

When can we expect your solo project?

“My solo project is called The Black Box. It's kinda dark …mystic… I'm waiting to release it this fall.” 

To read Ebony’s full bio, discography, and see more photos click the link:

http://issuu.com/infinitejd/docs/e

Femme Noire’s thought of The Day: Happiness is Your Natural State…Choose to Be Happy!

“I wasn't ready to leave; I did what I had to do! Nobody ever taught me….I am a product of my environment….I don’t have enough money….I've had my heart broken one too many times, my  mother and father  abandoned me” are all reasons  that I have  heard people use in conversation  as reasons why they aren't happy.  I've had the misconception as I’m sure that everyone has had at one time or another that our outer circumstances control our feelings and our happiness. As long as everybody is pleased with me and I am getting what I want then I am happy. It is easy to be happy when things are going our way and everybody is on our side, but what about when we’re all alone? What happens now? How do we lift ourselves up? I love the quote by Buddha “All that we are a result of what we have thought”, but how are we supposed to think happy thoughts when we weren't taught, we weren't shown, and we have experienced so much pain in our lives? Even when we achieve all of our goals there is still that voice telling us that it is not enough and we need to do more. How do we reprogram our minds to really focus on being truly happy with ourselves? I've been asking myself this question for a very long time.

I am happiest when I am around nature. My thoughts are clear and focused and I am able to really think about all of the goodness in my life. By  taking in the sounds of the ocean and feeling the sand between my toes or lying in the grass staring up at the sky, brings me great joy!  How do I take this feeling with me into the office everyday? How do I stop sabotaging my happiness and silence the negative suggestions coming from my inner voice? How do I know that everything will be alright especially when I am just trying to protect myself from hurting again?

I am happiest when I'm in Nature! I love Animals!

What I am learning is that you can’t believe everything you think! It’s like talking to a friend about a problem; they may offer suggestions but it is up to you to decide what solution is the best for your life. It can be very comforting to talk to people about things that are making you unhappy but in my opinion it’s like reliving the situation over and over again. It’s better to focus on conversation that is uplifting and positive as much as possible. When you are at peace it’s easier to make better decisions that will remove you from an undesirable situation even when it hurts! Happiness is your goal! Nobody owes you happiness and it’s hard to make others happy if you’re not happy with yourself.

I would like to share my tips for staying happy everyday!

1.      I start my day with meditation. I never skip a day!  I need that time to really hear what my spirit is telling me. I have my best ideas first thing in the morning.

2.      I like to listen to music that promotes happiness. I usually listen to Bob Marley while I’m getting dressed in the morning. I used to listen to the news on the way to work but I found that it was making me sad listening to all the trouble in the world. It’s important to be aware but not obsessed!

3.     I eat light first thing in the morning. Fruit,veggie omelet, coffee or tea and then I head out!

  I write this blog! I love learning and sharing. Find a hobby that you really love!

5.       When I feel down I call a friend that is so positive it’s infectious! I am blessed to have very supportive friends who realize my struggles but never point out my flaws. Surround yourself with people that lift you up,and are where you want to be in life or, those who are headed in the direction you want to go.

6.      

      Thoughts are things! They live and breathe and just like all living things they need attention in order to grow. It’s normal to entertain your thoughts but only nurture thoughts that will help you to lead a happier more peaceful life.

7.       I love to travel. I am a big fan of leaving town for the weekend. I go to the beach whenever possible. If I can’t get away I like to ride my bike in the park or take a walk.

8.       Exercise is very important! It’s hard for me to focus on problems when I am working out. I love Yoga and practice three times a week and I do Zumba once a week.  I love to dance so I try to get out with friends to dance all night!

9.       When I feel sad I don’t push those feelings away! I honor my feelings because there is a reason I feel this way. I deal with my feelings and move forward with healing the hurt.

1       Remember happiness comes from within! When you are doing what you love and are surrounded by people that love you it is easier to be happy, but it is equally important to be happy when you are alone, and it all starts with your thoughts and the way you feel about yourself ! 

     Remember “Pain is inevitable,suffering is optional”…..Don’t suffer choose love, choose life, choose you! You deserve to be happy despite what anybody else may say and despite what you may think!

~xo

Femme Noire’s thought of the Day….Be Spontaneous

“Seize the day and put no trust in the future” ~Quintus Horatius Flaccus

So I was out the other night with one of my amazing artist friends whom I haven’t seen in quite a while. His energy is crazy!!! He is one of the most humble people that I’ve ever met in my life. To be so accomplished in his craft and remain so simple is art in itself. He agreed to meet me for dinner and drinks after work. He prefers ska music vs. contemporary dancehall reggae and doesn’t really listen to rap yet he made himself comfortable at the spot. I was telling him all about Femme Noire and the vision behind the blog. He listened and then offered advice….(I’m paraphrasing)…”The time may never be right. You always have to be ready. Don’t depend on me for pictures…don’t wait for the perfect interview sometimes it needs to be on the spot.”  

Wow it seems that this would be common knowledge but, this is easier said than done.  It just needs to be done. Just do it! Go for it!

Feeling Free! Private Beach in Jamaica....Spontaneous!

There is no time like the present has become my mantra. I have always been the type of person who wants conditions to be perfect before taking on any project.  This way of thinking has caused me to miss out on so much because I always feel as though I may not be ready due to finances, lack of experience, and lack of time. Ultimately I was making excuses to procrastinate. Procrastination is how I’ve been dealing with my internalized fear of failure but, how can you fail if you don’t try? How can you give up before you start? How do you know what the answer if you don’t ask the questions?

We live in an imperfect world so, if we wait for conditions to be perfect before we get started we could be waiting a really long time to achieve success, find happiness, or complete a goal.  I am learning how to stay prepared and ready for any new opportunity that might present itself.  The key is to stay open and positive. Ready, set, go!  Make it happen …don’t wait because you might not ever get this chance again.  

Be encouraged and seize the day!

~One Love