Day 8.....What are You Committed To? Self Acceptance Maybe?

Funny What a Kitten Heel Can Do

Day 8 with no morning news, a daily blog post, and increased confidence. Today instead of wearing flats to work I opted for a kitten heel. How adorable was I? I was also super tall! I am already 5’11 without heels so you can imagine the look on some of my co-workers faces when my 6’1 long and lean frame waltzed into work towering over everyone. Some of my co-workers are very petite and often comment on my height. I have been asked if I am 6’5” or how hard is it to find a boyfriend. I know that they are just curious but sometimes my self-esteem is bruised since I have been single for a very long time. Honestly, in my opinion my relationship status has nothing to do with my height, but I’ll save that for another post at a time to be determined.

 Deciding to wear two inch heels to work scared me. My heart raced wondering what people were saying about me under their breath, but after 30 minutes of negative self-talk I let it go and got to work. I actually enjoyed the click clack of my heels against the laminate floors as I walked down the hall. I felt like a grown up today, and it was a great feeling. When I sat with clients I crossed my legs and looked them directly in the eyes. I felt that I demanded respect from my clients and peers. Amazing what a pair of shoes can do! I now understand the addiction that some ladies have with shoes. I feel as though I could possibly wear heels every single day and own it. Today I fell in love with my body all over again. I haven’t felt this way since I was a teenager when it was cool to be a tall skinny waif like the supermodels of that time. Today, I realized that I have been doing myself a disservice by trying to make myself small so that others could feel good about themselves.

I am me! I am not better or worse than anyone else. We are all one. Tall, short, fat, skinny, shy, outgoing, you catch my drift….we are one. When we accept who we are and how we are perfectly made then we can move closer to our purpose which is my goal. I want to surround myself with people that are living and breathing their truth. I want to accept people as they are just as I want to be accepted; flaws and all.

It’s funny how a pair of two inch kitten heels can make a 30 something girl feel like a lady. It’s funny how owning and accepting yourself for who you are can change your perception of the world and the people that you used to think were smarter, or more qualified than you now seem like scared little girls.

My two inch heels reminded me that I have vision, I have purpose, and I have the love and support of the universe, and if I just stay committed and confident all of my dreams will come true. I’m committed to self acceptance.

What are you committed to?

~Until next time. 

Day 7……What Will You Commit To? Could it Be Love?

Could It Be Love That You're Searching For? 

Day 7 no news to wake me up and another blog post before days end! I am happy to have reached day 7 on this journey. When I woke up this morning I played a little reggae music from my online play list. It was freezing in my condo when I woke up this morning so I promptly turned up the heat, started brewing a fresh cup of coffee, and cranked my music up a little too loud for 5 A.M.  The sounds of Morgan Heritage really put me in a great mood. As I prepared myself mentally for the day I was feeling very excited about what this day had to offer. I didn’t know what to expect and honestly the only expectation that I had was to have a productive day. I like waking up feeling motivated and ready to tackle whatever comes my way. 

When I stepped outside it was pretty cold and I felt snow flurries smacking me in the face. Could it be that there was a chance that we would get sent home early because of the snow? In my mind my day was off to a great start. I imagined coming back home and getting back into my pajamas. By the time I got to work the snow started to fall harder. I prayed a silent prayer for the call to shut down my computer and head home. However, the snow did not last so I worked the entire day. I have no complaints, I am very grateful that I have a job but a girl could dream………

Since I’ve cut out the news and have committed to writing a daily post, cutting out the news, and developing more confidence in myself I have been very acutely aware of dreams that I have suppressed to fit into the mold of what a grown woman is supposed to be. I feel the strength that I was using to protect my heart slowly waning and I feel more open and more exposed. I don’t feel the need to hold back tears, and I’ve come face to face with inner truths that I tried to run away from. Everything and everyone that was so familiar to me seems foreign. I am engaging my dreams. I am having a conversation daily with my soul because I want to know how she (my soul) wants me to proceed . 

Deep down inside is a deep desire to give, give, give and give some more. I want to embody love, and give it unconditionally. “Could you be Loved?” in the words of Robert Nesta Marley…….. I could be loved. Can you give love without restrictions on another? I can!  This has been my deepest desire since I was a child however, when you have been rejected, hurt, betrayed, and neglected it’s hard to accept  the concept of love. How could I love anybody when the people that I love the most have taken advantage of my love? The answer is to keep loving. Could you be loved? Can you embody love? Can you give love? Yes you can because you are love. We are love

What will you commit to? I am committed to Love 

~Until next time

Day 6……..What Will You Commit To? Confidence Maybe?

“IF I GET OFF MY KNEES I MIGHT RECALL I’M TWENTY FEET TALL” ~ ERYKAH BADU

Where are you trying to Go? 

Day 6 with no news in the morning, and I must say that I don’t miss it all. This morning I popped in Kendrick Lamar Good Kid MADD City before work trying to get pumped up before I fight traffic. I must say that I can see a big difference in my attitude with my clients at work since I stopped watching the local news in the morning.. I spend more time answering questions and really taking the time to listen  to their concerns instead of just trying to rush them out of my office. Despite feeling like a big fish in a small pond at times I must say that I really enjoy what I do. I love helping new moms with their babies, and helping families achieve a healthier diet on a limited budget. Somehow I always find time to encourage them to consider some type of introspection and self-care and I can tell that the moms really appreciate this. My job is more than customer service.  I am showing people that I really and truly care about their needs and this motivates them to do better in most cases.

So, I am reading a book called the Four Hour Work Week by a guy named Timothy Ferriss. A friend of mine recommended this book to me when I was talking to him about escaping the 8-5 lifestyle and  venturing out on my own in the future to write, teach, and delve deeper into my passions in life. My passions include travel, food, poetry, and exploring spirituality.  This past weekend I downloaded the book the Four Hour Work Week to my Kindle and haven’t put it down since. The book describes in great detail how to organize your time so that you are free to live the life that you want to live. Huh? I’ve heard that before, but I find this book quite seductive because everything that he is suggesting is everything that I worked hard not to be. I’ve perfected the art of laying low and staying behind the scenes. I never talk back or challenge authority, and for the most part I do what I am told because I don’t want to ruffle any feathers however, he is suggesting that in order to live the life you want to live you have to do things that you never thought that you could do. I can sum it up in my own words to mean that you need to have a certain level of confidence in order to defy the status quo.  I’ve been trying to figure out how to do this for years but somehow I always fall back into the habit of staying quiet when I should speak up. I am a quite tall for a girl so I already attract  a lot attention and it doesn't help that I can be quite shy. After reading this book I decided that for once in my life I will own my stature. Maybe this will change my attitude and give me the confidence I need to make my dreams a reality.  In the words of Erykah Badu “I’m Twenty Feet Tall”.

This week I will not watch the news, I will post a blog daily and I will own my stature. What will you commit to for the next thirty days? What do you want to change? 

~Until next time

Getting Back to The Things That I Love.

I was trying to be fancy and put my drink in a wine glass.

This weekend was really laid back. I spent time cleaning, reflecting, and practicing the art of self care. I am really trying to be very gentle with myself these days as I struggle with anxiety. I am finding that anxiety for me means that I need to let go of some things that no longer fit into my life. It could be my thought patterns, negative self-talk, and engaging in conversations that really disturb my inner peace  and throw me off  balance. I am reminded that anytime I have an anxiety attack it is time for me to get back to things and people that I love, and to do the things that bring me absolute joy.

Last weekend I went to the local farmer's market and saw that there was fresh sorrel on sale. I've never seen fresh sorrel, only the dried leaves so I was extremely excited. When I think of sorrel I think of a nice cold glass spiked with rum or ginger beer during the holidays. My Ummi makes this delicious concoction every year however, I've never made it myself so I thought I would give it a try. Drinking sorrel always puts me in a great frame of mind because it automatically takes me to New York City and the delicious smells that are associated with the holidays.

Sorrel Leaves

My good friend Afya Ibomu who is a holistic nutritionist gifted me with her book the Vegan Remix! A Soulful Spin on World Cuisine. This book has an awesome recipe for "Sorrel Sizzurp" so, I used her recipe to make this wonderful, lightly sweetened, spiced just right liquid deliciousness.

The type of sorrel that I used is a Jamaican sorrel which is not considered a true sorrel. True sorrel is a leafy green similar to spinach (I have never tried this). Sorrel has many benefits:

It can be used as a diuretic, blood thinner, or to help decrease blood pressure.Sorrel is high in vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants.

For the "Sorrel Sizzurp" recipe check out Afya's book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Vegan-Remix-Afya-Ibomu/dp/0983143714

Day 5.......What Will You Committ To? Is it Possible To Create The Life That You Love?

All Things Are Possible

Day 5 of this 30 day challenge got off to a great start and I must say that today was good day. I have completed my coursework and I am now qualified to teach mindful eating principles and techniques to my clients. Mindfulness as it relates to eating is a great way to slow down when choosing food, preparing food, and consuming food. Using mindfulness could possibly facilitate weight loss and heal negative emotions related to eating. I am so excited that I will be able to bring this type of counseling to my area. I will keep you all posted on that. The program that I was in to receive this qualification was a 12 week course that I attended in a virtual classroom with other professionals such as psychotherapists, other dietitians/nutritionists, aryuvedic practitioners, yoga teachers, and social workers. After reflecting over the material in the twelve week course I realized that I have been committed. I made a huge financial commitment, and I sacrificed free time in order to complete this course, so I realized that commitment can be easy and fun if you’re interested in the task or challenge at hand. 

Today, I woke up feeling extremely talkative and motivated to really expand on this whole idea of commitment. I called my friend up bright and early and she was quite surprised that I was up so early on a Sunday morning. I explained to her that if we really want to live the life that we love we have to stay committed to the idea that it is possible to be everything that we want to be. We have to expand our way of thinking and move from the notion that it just won’t work…..whatever it is! I’ve met countless people that are doing what I had planned in my mind but never set out to do. I spent many years talking myself out of things because it always seemed that the time was never right. I was living in a fear mentality and in some aspects I still am.

 Today I have been asking myself some tough questions about my current lifestyle. I actually started envisioning myself 20-30 years from now. Would I still be waking up every day to fight traffic to clock and do unfulfilling work just to get to an age where I can finally retire and hopefully do all of things that I always wanted to do? Hmmmm…..

Today is a new day! What is the worst thing that can happen if you try and don’t succeed? Well, you’ll just try again right? I know that I will. I have been fortunate and blessed to have some dynamic people in my circle cheering me on, and offering support. Support is wonderful in the grand scheme of things however, the most important type of support is the belief in your own personal abilities. It is time to be confident and shine. 

~Shine on and start creating the life that you want to live.  

Day 4......What Will You Commit To?

"There Are No Obstacles Only The Ones We Create In Our Mind"

Day 4 of my personal challenge has gone awry. Today should actually be day 10 but I find my challenge a little challenging. I didn’t realize how easily I get distracted and will make excuses as to why I can’t complete a task. I am the ultimate procrastinator at times. I’ve been wrapped up in my own thoughts and emotions instead of staying focused on my goals and aspirations both personally and professionally. I noticed this pattern has repeated itself throughout my life and I want to make a change. Change can only come with practice, repetition, and discipline. So, once again I commit myself to this challenge of 30 days of blog posts and waking up news free.

I have continued to listen to music in lieu of the news and it has been particularly helpful in keeping me motivated and positive. I listen to Bob Marley or Deva and Premal while getting ready. I have a regular meditation practice however, I haven’t been sitting for 30 minutes before starting my day. Today, I have recommitted myself to my cushion. I sat in silence and gladly surrendered my work week to the universe. I allowed all of the anxiety and fear that plagued me over the last few months fade away. I opened up my mind and my spirit to love. I could feel the love that is with me all of the time wrap his loving arms around me and tell me that everything will be alright. He then whispered in my ear very quietly “There are no obstacles only the obstacles that we create in our mind.”  When I rose from my mat this saying resonated with me so much. “There are no obstacles only the obstacles that we create in our mind.” I couldn’t remember where I have heard this before but I knew that this was an idea that I needed to revisit.

So, now I realize that this challenge to abandon the morning news and to write a blog post for 30 days is not hard and it can be done. There’s always time. I’ve always believed the saying that you make time for the things and people that are important to you. The same applies to our visions and dreams. We have to remain committed to living the life that we are meant to live.

For the next 26 days I want to share as deeply as possible. I want to watch the miracle of commitment and persistence and dedication to cause. I’m curious to see what unfolds. I want to wake up the creativity in me, so that I can connect with more creative souls. I want to free myself from the limitations that I have imposed on my life.

Thank you for joining me!

~Take Good Care and I’ll see you soon.

Day 3.......What Will You Commit To?

I started this challenge with the hopes of composing a post everyday for the next 30 days. However, the weekend came and I got a little bit off track but I'm back and I'm recommitting myself to this project. I can gladly say that I have stuck to my promise of not watching the morning news to see what kind of day I would have. I let go of the morning news and I have been having more productive mornings and a more positive outlook on the day ahead. 

I've been thinking about my purpose in life a lot and wondering if I can continue this journey alone. I feel like every good, conscious, spiritual, well rounded female needs a companion to travel on this road together. I must admit that this is an area of my life that I've never paid much attention to because it seemed as if the timing was never right. Lately, this desire to have a companion that is motivated and moved by spirit is greater than it has ever been, but I've decided to wait. I'm not searching because I know when the time is right he will appear. We will rise with the morning sun, meditate together, have our morning tea together, practice yoga together, and create a life well lived that will help others. Until the time comes I am patiently waiting for a universal love whose spirit meshes perfectly with mine.

Waiting for his kiss (universal love)

I meet interesting people from interesting places

With interesting stories to tell

Sometimes I meet people with lots of money and fame

But it seems like more of the same

More of the same mundane, routine,

I get bored easily

I’m in search of fun.

I want to run off to the sun (if that were ever possible)

I want to touch the unknown and go to places off the beaten path

Where I’m not seen ……

My spirit

Radiates authenticity

Forget political correctness

Sexiness

I am dripping with desire to touch consciousness and I want him to touch me

Secretly

It can only be felt by the heart and mind

It can only be seen with the spirit eye

Heard by the listening ear of the universe where silence is deafening.

Where my pleas are echoed into eternity.

There has to be much more than this….and I am waiting for his kiss.

Universal Love