Day 14, 15, 16...What Are You Committed To? How About Self Care?

What Are You Committed To?

Day 14, 15, and 16. I haven’t put a post in three days however, but I have been waking up without the morning news. I’ve been under the weather so I’ve been taking it easy these past few days. It seems like everyone in the office is getting sick. On day 14 I came home with a sore throat and runny nose and despite my best effort I succumbed to the tired feeling that precedes full blown illness. I didn’t try to fight it this time. I’ve been drinking green juice and eating simple meals. I’m starting to feel better, and I’m so glad because I have cabin fever.

Since I’ve had no desire to go out after work, I’ve been taking the time out to affirm health and wellness for my life. I am naturally an introvert and a deep thinker and I have a tendency to let my thoughts consume me, and more times than not these thoughts are self-defeating and negative. When I started feeling sick I began to tell myself that I’m not taking care of myself, maybe I could eat a little better, it’s my fault that I don’t feel well. When the truth of the matter is I work in an environment where I am exposed to the general public and despite my best efforts to wash my hands, keep my work area clean and sanitized, stay hydrated etc. sometimes getting sick is inevitable. So, I’ve decided to change my inner dialogue to reflect how I want to feel and how I want to see myself. It’s a fact that our bodies are meant to be in perfect health. As it relates to health it is our job to do all that we can to achieve optimal health. Optimal health starts with having the right mindset about our well-being. We can maintain our mindset with meditation, good nutrition, exercise, and rest. So, when the time comes when we do get sick the recovery time is speedy.

These past three days that I did not write a post I felt disappointed because I wasn’t up to it, but this was also a gentle reminder that I should be flexible. I was reminded about being gentle with myself. I was also reminded that intention is everything. If my intentions are there then the task will be completed when the time is right, and honestly the past three days were less than inspirational. I had to change my inner dialogue and forgive myself for the negative self-talk. When I feel good my posts are positive because I have a good attitude, and the same goes for every aspect in my life. Our work and the way that we perform in most cases is a great indicator of how we feel inside. I think that it’s OK to step back and take a break when our body or mind is not in balance. It’s OK to take care of yourself.

What are you committed to? How about self-care?

Day 13... What are You Committed To? Letting Go Maybe?

“Attachment is The Root of All Suffering” ~Buddha

What Will You Let Go OF? 

Day 13 with no morning news and another blog post. Today when I woke up I must admit that I went straight to social media. I wanted to see what I was missing and I ended up staying on all day. Swiping mindlessly soaking up all of the news and gossip for the day. I also started looking at pictures of old friends and it made me a little sad. It’s funny how people that you used to spend so much time with hardly have time anymore. What makes people drift apart? It’s obvious we grow and change. Our priorities shift, our wants and needs change, maybe we no longer like the same things anymore and there is really nothing to talk about so then why do we remain friends on the Internet? Are we doing this to create the illusion of a love or friendship that is lost? Are we trying to hold on to a relationship where the love is gone? Why do this to ourselves. I think that it’s just fine to stay friends with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend if you are OK with the fact that he has moved on, but if you are not why hold on to the pain?

I’m paraphrasing here but Buddha states that the cause of all suffering is attachment. So why not be free? We have great memories that can never be taken from us and that is what we should cherish. For the past two weeks I have been posting about commitment. I’ve been thinking hard about my feelings towards commitment and what it truly means to me. In the past I have been known to start something and then give up before I see the end results. Commitment for me is creating new habits that will allow me to have more time and income to do the things that I love most. I am in the habit of waking up early during the week, meditating for thirty minutes and then starting my day. I am also in the habit of doing yoga daily and I can’t tell you how these habits have changed me in a positive way. I consume less wine than I have in the past because it’s hard to exercise once you’ve had too much to drink. Waking up early to meditate gives me the chance to organize my thoughts before the phone starts ringing or I am bombarded with the demands of the day.

I want to continue to work on creating good daily habits that will improve my overall well being so that I don’t feel attached to what I see online. I will be so full that I have no time to fantasize over what might have been. Things don’t work out for a reason. I have to keep telling myself  this. I have issues with letting go because of fear. We should never fear letting go because there is plenty more of what we want and need if we are willing to let go.  

What are you willing to let go of? I'm letting go of fear. 

Day 12....Happy Valentines Day

Might as well indulge....just this once

Day 12 without watching the morning news, and another blog post. Since starting this challenge I have also decreased the amount of time spent on social media. Today is Valentine's Day and unfortunately I don't have a Valentine, but nevertheless I'm feeling fine. I spent the day pampering myself. I downloaded the new Kanye West album "The Life of Pablo" and Rihanna's "Anti" and I enjoyed a glass of wine and a box of chocolates. I must say that I've enjoyed my day very much. I love the idea of Valentine's Day but sometimes it feels like the true meaning of celebrating the one you love has been withered down to excessive spending and unrealistic expectations of what should be given on this day.

I used to spend Valentine's Day at work when I was a waitress and this was one of my least favorite holidays to work. The couples that I served didn't seem to like each other very much and Valentine's Day dinner was just a way to keep the peace in the household. I can't imagine waiting an hour in a restaurant to pay for an expensive meal that I don't really enjoy just to prove my love. I think that there are so many simple ways to say I love you that don't cost a single penny. Maybe I'm jaded but I'd take spending the day at home with my love listening to new music and preparing a meal together. I'm holding out for the person that understands my simplicity.

Until then I will appreciate the richness of a few morsels of chocolate and the sounds of my favorite artists blasting through my house.

I hope that everyone reading this had a wonderful Valentines Day and I hope that you will stay with me on this journey.

Day 11.....What Will You Commit To?...Waking Up Earlier Perhaps

How Will You Spend Your Time?

Day 11 is a day late but I went the entire day without listening to the news. Limiting my online activity was hard because I am helping a friend plan a party, and most people have their business links posted on Facebook so I was communicating using Facebook chats to negotiate rates for services. In this instance I find this type of online activity useful and convenient. I was very tempted to get lost in my timeline but I reminded myself of what I was trying to achieve. I did indulge for a few minutes and that was enough for me. I needed to focus my attention on the task at hand which was to make sure that my friend has everything that she will need for her special day.

Weekends are usually the two days that I have set aside to sleep in late, clean, do laundry…..you know all of the fun stuff. However lately I’ve been up at 6 am on the weekends practicing yoga, listening to motivational speakers, and reading, all before 9 am. I really believe that this is because I am motivated to make major changes in my life. I always talk about these “changes” with people but never really knew how to go about it. I’ve decided that if I want to see changes I can’t sleep all day just because it’s Saturday. The weekends are truly the only two days that I have the entire day to do things for myself. The other five days my services are contracted out for 8 hours a day; not to mention the nearly two hours that are spent in traffic round trip. I’m not complaining it’s just an observation and I’ve come to the realization that I’ve been wasting my most valuable asset just because it’s the weekend. Time is just as valuable as money, and even more valuable in most cases. Yet I have been squandering my time sleeping but not really resting. I have been wasting my time doing things that I don’t really want to do. Once the value of a thing is realized it is hard to throw it away. I would never throw my money in the garbage. I try to save it, I cherish it, and invest it because I know its worth.

I’ve come to the same realization about my time. When you value your time you have a level of freedom that money can’t buy.  There is the freedom to create, to reflect, and really enjoy the people that you love without feeling rushed. When your time is handled like money you are well rested because your time is not wasted doing unimportant things to make yourself seem like you are busy and having fun. Time allows us to craft things of real value.

What would you do if you had more time? What would you create? Who would you help? Where would you go? Who would you spend time with? 

Day 10.......What Will You Commit To? Simplicity Maybe?

 "My Richness is Life Forever" ~Bob Marley

What Will You Choose?

Day 10 of my challenge to not watch the morning news, and to create a blog post everyday has been liberating to say the least. When I first decided to challenge myself by writing a post every day I was unsure about what would unfold. I am finding that by committing to a certain activity for a specific amount of time creates great discipline, and has the ability to spark an enormous amount of creativity. For me it has magnified the excesses in my life and has allowed me to live with less in such a short timeframe.

Today was the first day that I decreased the amount of time that I spend surfing the Internet by 75%. I noticed the benefits instantly. I took on a  different task at work today which allowed me to learn a new skill. I enjoyed lunch without the distraction of looking online while I eat. I savored my food instead of  hastily shoving it down my throat. From now on I will not use the Internet until I have finished lunch. I felt more satisfied and thus was able to be more productive.

Today I was playing around with the idea of living a simpler life. I read an article that encouraged a relationship with poverty from time to time. What?? This sounds like a crazy notion that no sane person that works extremely hard would attempt especially considering what we do to maintain a sense of stability. The author suggested that this a way to alleviate fear in your life. Examples that were provided were things like wearing the same outfit for a week straight, or planning an entire days meal on two or three dollars a day for several days, or even fasting for a few days. By doing this exercise you would see if you can find joy in the simplest things in life or, if you rely too heavily on material things to bring you joy.

 Many people live in this way and they do not have the luxury to decide when they will spend less than five dollars a day on food, or what outfit to wear since their options are limited at best.  The author did not suggest that there was anything wrong with having wealth, material things, or success, but instead he wanted us to remember that we can never get too comfortable with the illusion of material success.  We must have an intimate relationship with fear in order to remove fear from our life.

 What is it that you fear? Do you fear losing your way of life? Your friends?  What is it that you can’t live without? Decide what that thing is and then live without it for a few days and watch how your life will change. This exercise will help you to develop a deeper appreciation for the things that you do have, and it will also remind you that they are not necessary for your happiness.

Day 9......What Will You Commit To? Less Distractions?

Meet for Mocktails and Conversation

Day 9 without morning news, a daily blog post, an increased sense of self and confidence has been great. I must admit that I’m feeling fine. For the past few days I’ve noticed that I have a sense of stillness that I haven’t felt in a long time. When my co-workers bring up something that happened in the news I am startled, and at times appalled to hear what is going on in the world. So, I am not totally news free because once I step out of my front door there is someone that is always eager to update me on the world’s current events. Although disturbing at times this is a less daunting way to experience the news since we as consumers never get all of the details from the media anyway. What difference does it make when someone changes the story just a bit to fit their personal agenda at least I’m getting an overview of events instead of all of the gory images and details.

The longer I challenge myself the more that I am discovering what I can live without. I’ve decided to limit the use of Facebook for the remainder of this challenge. I will check my messages mid-day after I eat lunch, and in the evening before I shut off all of my electronics. I realize that although I communicate with many of my loved ones this way there are also many things that I don’t want to see that bruise my spirit and excitement for life. Also, there is an amazing amount of negative world news on Facebook. While I realize that there is a lot of strife in the world I have to build myself up so that I am able to stay strong in these tough times. It is easy to be swayed by the passionate comments of other users almost to the point that you may forget where you stand on a particular issue. I waste an enormous amount of time looking at pictures of people that I don’t even interact with in real life. I spend way too much time creating stories in my head about what might be happening behind my back and right now I need to conserve my energy. I want to put all of my energy into the things that bring my heart joy. I don’t want to be in virtual competition with anyone anymore. So, I look  forward to allowing myself more time to be creative and actually interact with friends and family via telephone, letters, e-mails, or face to face.

When there is time to pursue what it is that you really love then you can design the life that you want to live. You find ways to live with less and decide what is important to you instead of being swayed by the media, friends on social media, and the temptation to shop for things that you don’t really need. Time is so precious. How will you spend yours? I choose to use mine creating instead of just consuming.

What will You Give Up? How about distractions? 

Day 8.....What are You Committed To? Self Acceptance Maybe?

Funny What a Kitten Heel Can Do

Day 8 with no morning news, a daily blog post, and increased confidence. Today instead of wearing flats to work I opted for a kitten heel. How adorable was I? I was also super tall! I am already 5’11 without heels so you can imagine the look on some of my co-workers faces when my 6’1 long and lean frame waltzed into work towering over everyone. Some of my co-workers are very petite and often comment on my height. I have been asked if I am 6’5” or how hard is it to find a boyfriend. I know that they are just curious but sometimes my self-esteem is bruised since I have been single for a very long time. Honestly, in my opinion my relationship status has nothing to do with my height, but I’ll save that for another post at a time to be determined.

 Deciding to wear two inch heels to work scared me. My heart raced wondering what people were saying about me under their breath, but after 30 minutes of negative self-talk I let it go and got to work. I actually enjoyed the click clack of my heels against the laminate floors as I walked down the hall. I felt like a grown up today, and it was a great feeling. When I sat with clients I crossed my legs and looked them directly in the eyes. I felt that I demanded respect from my clients and peers. Amazing what a pair of shoes can do! I now understand the addiction that some ladies have with shoes. I feel as though I could possibly wear heels every single day and own it. Today I fell in love with my body all over again. I haven’t felt this way since I was a teenager when it was cool to be a tall skinny waif like the supermodels of that time. Today, I realized that I have been doing myself a disservice by trying to make myself small so that others could feel good about themselves.

I am me! I am not better or worse than anyone else. We are all one. Tall, short, fat, skinny, shy, outgoing, you catch my drift….we are one. When we accept who we are and how we are perfectly made then we can move closer to our purpose which is my goal. I want to surround myself with people that are living and breathing their truth. I want to accept people as they are just as I want to be accepted; flaws and all.

It’s funny how a pair of two inch kitten heels can make a 30 something girl feel like a lady. It’s funny how owning and accepting yourself for who you are can change your perception of the world and the people that you used to think were smarter, or more qualified than you now seem like scared little girls.

My two inch heels reminded me that I have vision, I have purpose, and I have the love and support of the universe, and if I just stay committed and confident all of my dreams will come true. I’m committed to self acceptance.

What are you committed to?

~Until next time.