You have all the answers....If you THINK you do!

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought” ~Buddha

Stop looking outside of yourself for answers because you are the answer. You are the answer to any problem that you may have right now. I am learning that our experiences are a result of the thoughts that we constantly play over again and again in our mind.  It does not matter whether a thought is negative or positive our life is a reflection of what we think. I realize that I have such positive experiences when I listen to the little voice inside telling me to JUST DO IT! When I act without fear of failure or fear of rejection I am always pleasantly surprised and overjoyed with the results.

Learning to be patient with myself and others has proven to be the way to happiness. Questions are answered and truth is revealed when we take time out to listen to that little voice inside telling us that everything is ok.  I am learning not to try to change other people because that is almost impossible. I am learning that through prayer and meditation I can change myself.

We have to consciously choose love, choose peace, and choose happiness in order to receive the gifts that this life has to offer.  In order to be loved we must love ourselves. Sometimes it’s hard for me to feel love for myself because it’s easier for me to find things that are wrong such as…my hair is not right, I’m too skinny, I don't have enough money etc. Sometimes I am not very nice to myself. I’ve decided that I must be kind to myself. I want to be unselfish and open to what my soul is saying. I’ve decided not to live with the pain that I’ve carried around all these years. I’ve decided to wake up. I've decided not to dwell on things that make me sad or fearful. I don't focus on things that make me angry or jealous. I have decided to focus on those things which bring me joy and make me smile and what I've realized is...there is so much to smile about!

 We are surrounded by God’s majesty and boundless fields of energy so there are endless opportunities to be great no matter how mundane or insignificant our daily activities seem to be. There is always an opportunity to make a difference. It is not by accident that we are here. We are all a part of the plan. Today is a new day…wake-up, smile, breathe and THINK something different.



Painted Desert...God's Majesty! Created from Iron, Copper and Maganese

BE!

“The Present is a Gift and I just want to BE!” ~Common



             As summer comes to an end I reflect on all the fun I had relaxing and catching rays. School is in session and now it’s time to get busy. This summer I had the opportunity to hit the road and travel to a few cities close by. I went to Jacksonville, Florida, and Charlotte North Carolina. I loved these quick little getaways which provided some well deserved and much needed rest and relaxation.  What I loved most was the drive to reach these locations. When I drive I get clarity and it gives me a lot of time to think and to dream. Driving long distance provides a small escape from the reality of my everyday routine.  When I am in driving mode I can just BE!!

I want to be bolder and more confident. I want to be creative every single day. I want to be myself in a world where we are forced to live a double life. I want to accept people for who they are and I hope that others will do the same. I want to be in love. I want to take more time to soak up the beauty of life; the art, the music, the poetry, the literature, and laughter. I just want to be all that I can be, but not be everything to everybody!  

I will be more patient with myself and others. I will take time for myself every single day. I will value the thoughts, and ideas of others as well as my own.  I will exercise, I will eat right. I will listen without judgment and I will take criticism as it comes. I will surround myself with people that I love me, and I will accept love and reject that which does not satisfy my soul. I will just BE!!

Thank you for reading!

Thought of The Day: Lose Control!

"You have control over your work alone never the result". Krishna Bhagavad-Gita.

Good Morning and Happy Thursday to everyone that takes time out to read what I have to say. I always think I know what I am going to write about, but then when I sit down to put my thoughts on paper everything changes. This past week has been a real learning lesson for me. I learned that when you think that you’re in control of the day, when you think you’re in control of your life you’d better think again because something can always come along that can turn order into chaos and make you lose control. All that you planned has to be put on hold because of circumstance.

Recently I picked up a part-time job to help with extra expenses around the house. I have been feeling real good because I feel some sense of order as it relates to bills. I am paying things off that were being neglected due to lack of money. Lately I have been feeling great because things seem to be looking up. I woke up early Sunday to meet my friend for coffee before reporting to my part time job. It was a misty, foggy, gray, gloomy morning, and I remember saying to myself, I wish I didn’t have to get out of my bed it’s so nasty out there. Reluctantly I got dressed and headed out the door. As I was driving I was counting in my head all the things that needed to get done before the day was done. I was driving along with the radio turned off absorbed in my thoughts. I merged onto an exit ramp as I do every day when my car began to spin out of control. I didn’t realize what was happening until the car hit the guard rail and came to a stop. My only thought was….am I going to die? This was such a scary experience because even grabbing the wheel and trying to steer the car was useless. I had to just wait to see where I landed. I was in total shock. I was alone, and didn’t know what happened. A Good Samaritan stopped and made sure that I was safe. I called 911 and a cop wrote the accident report. He said the rainy condition could have caused me to spin out of control. I didn’t understand my car has new tires, I merged slowly onto the ramp; in my mind I did everything a good driver should. My car is damaged pretty badly, but I am here to write about it.

This incident showed me that even when I think that I am in control I am not. I had my whole day planned and those plans were completely changed. My whole week has been affected. I suffered major muscle stiffness and was unable to move for a few days. Money that I earned now has to be used for car repairs, not to mention the missed time from work. I am learning that you can’t control the environment, you can’t control other people; you can only control your own actions. In our society we are constantly striving to become more, to do more, to have more, but we take the simplest things for granted starting with our breath. Each breath we take affords us another opportunity to live another second. We take for granted the ones that love us the most until it is too late. This experience showed me that every second is precious. When things don’t go as planned it’s ok because we as humans will always adapt to our situations. The most important thing is to do the best that we can, the rest is out of our control.

My thought of the day is simple…..Lose control and watch how life will unfold in front of your very eyes.

~One Love….Be blessed today and Everyday!

Thought of The Day.....Consider The Source!

"Like a lotus flower that grows out of the mud and blossoms above the muddy water surface, we can rise above our defilements and sufferings of life" ~Unkown

Happy Friday.....I had a wonderful week, and I am definitely ready for the weekend. This past week I had interesting conversation with different people that left me thinking about how the words of those closest to us can affect how we think,and how we deal with and build relationships with other human beings. These words can affect very important decisions in our lives. Our loved ones have a way of projecting their fears and insecurities into our thoughts. We may look up to our friend, or relative for advice and share our deepest darkest secrets looking for validation. There is nothing wrong with seeking advice, or wanting approval from those you love, all that I am saying is that it is very important to consider the person who is providing advice. Consider the source.

We all have been wounded, we all have had experiences that we may not be the proudest of, but I now know that this a part of the journey through life. It's easy for these experiences to make a person afraid, bitter, condescending etc. When people get advice from someone they love, whether it is from their mom, sister, best friend or lover there must be the understanding that this person loves you and doesn't want to see you hurt, so they may advise you to put your dream aside, and be "normal" or not to fall in love because "he is no good;I know his type" because they have been in love before and don't want you to experience the pain that comes with the loss of love. We are often warned to play it safe, and this is how great opportunities are missed.

As the weekend approaches Femme Noir only wants you to meditate on your own dreams and aspirations. This weekend do something that will bring you joy and a feeling of freedom, whether it's going to the movies, sleeping in, working out, or going to a restaurant...do what you want to do without restrictions. Don't be afraid to try something new; you just might like it.

Create new experiences and add a new stamp to your passport of life. We are always evolving. It's nice to get advice and it may be coming from a place of love with the best intentions, but it is always important to follow your heart and your calling in life. Sometimes it might mean trekking in the mud, before taking the stroll on the beach. You will never know what can unfold until you create a life from your perspective. We all have the potential for greatness. I like to compare my life to the Lotus Flower. I am blossoming into something delicate and beautiful to behold, but like the lotus flower I had to plant my roots in the mud before I was able to break free to the surface to show the world who I really am, and how beautiful I have become.

Consider The Source:

1. Your Dreams, Your Wishes, Your Goals are yours and yours alone that's why you are unique.

2. Listen to advice but only accept what agrees with your own soul. You know what's right for you deep down inside.

3. When those you love give you advice that may discourage you, don't get angry consider their past experiences and fears. They want to protect you. Most of the time the discouragement is coming from a loving place.

4. It's ok to make mistakes...Isn't that how we learn?

5. Find someone to be your mentor. This person is going in the direction that you want to go, or they have already arrived.

6. Believe in yourself. (If you don't who will?)

7. Write down your dreams and work toward them one by one.

8. Relax and Breathe

9. Be Bold

10. Listen to your inner voice, meditate daily, and don't worry.

Meet DJ Malikstone!

Earlier this month I was introduced to an after work happy hour by a friend of mine. I usually shy away from happy hours because the crowd can be a little uptight at times. Yeah I have a nine to five, but I’m not old yet. Happy hour in the past has bored me to tears. My friend promised me that I would be in for a treat. So despite my reservations I headed to Peters street for some cocktails and finger foods. When I pulled up in front of Cloud IX I was pleasantly surprised at how cute the restaurant/lounge was. The crowd was young and vibrant, and the music immediately grabbed my attention. Mos Def, Black Moon, and Nas just to name a few were in heavy rotation. Yeah this is the kind of therapy I need after work. I slid into my chair and ordered a drink and let the music take me away. I am now a faithful patron of Cloud IX every Tuesday after work. The D.J. Malikstone was kind enough to take time out of his busy schedule to share what’s on his playlist and how Two-Step Tuesday came about. Meet Dj Malikstone

Femme Noir Atl: Thank you so much for taking time out to talk to me. Please introduce yourself to my readers.

D.J. Malikstone: My Dj name is Malikstone I am a native New Yorker. I was raised in Durham, North Carolina as a child and then moved back to New York after high school. I returned to North Carolina to attend College, and after graduating college I returned to New York to begin my teaching career. So I am an educator and I have been teaching for the past fourteen years. I recently relocated to Atlanta and I am looking for an administrative position. My passion however is Djing.

Femme Noir Atl: So when did you begin your career as a D.J.

D.J. Malikstone: I got my first Mac Book in 2008 and I noticed that there was a program available called D.J. pleased with the price I purchased the software took it home and started messing with it. In 2009 I bought a mixer that was compatible with the software. This allowed me to have two hands free as opposed to using both hands on the computer. I began creating mixes for myself trying to get the skills necessary to make sure mixes were smooth, I learned beat recognition etc. The mixing board allowed me to improve how the sound of the music was coming in. I did a few house parties in Brooklyn. The first time I Djed publicly was at Hip-Hop happy hour at a spot called Radio Star in Manhattan; I also Djed at Rustic and Bistro Lafayette in Brooklyn.

Femme Noir Atl: So how did Two-Step Tuesday come about?

D.J. Malikstone: My wife and I wanted to relocate to Atlanta. I always loved Harlem Bar when I’d come to visit. I came down in April to search for jobs. I went to Cloud IX and noticed that the management was the same as Harlem Bar the bartender was the same so I was like cool. I was there to check out Kemit and Rasta Root they were doing a function on Thursday nights. I sat down ordered something to eat and realized the food was the same as Harlem Bar. I really loved the vibe there. The owner Scott came in and we started talking. When I finally moved down, I communicated to Scott that I was interested in doing a set there. Our schedules never really meshed in the beginning, but finally Scott said “come in next Tuesday let’s see what you got” and that was basically my first day at Cloud IX.

Femme Noir Atl: So what is the concept for Tuesday nights and who would you like to come out?

D.J. Malikstone: I want the people of Atlanta to come out after work. I understand with people’s schedule, you can’t necessarily go out on a Tuesday night if you have a family or if you have to work the next day. I wanted to created an after work atmosphere where adults in the Atlanta area can come out and enjoy something a little different. My theme is rare grooves, soul, hip-hop and reggae. I don’t play what’s on the radio necessarily because you can listen to the radio any night of the week, so that isn’t my focus. My belief is that there is forty years of music. I like to explore all forty years when I’m spinning; I like to spin everything from the 1960’s on.

Femme Noir Atl: So who are your favorite soul artists?

D.J. Malikstone: My favorite artists of all time are Stevie Wonder and Curtis Mayfield not necessarily in that order.

Femme Noir Atl: What do you think about the state of Hip-Hop music?

D.J. Malikstone: Talented artists have never gotten the proper shine, they have never gotten the proper shine (emphatically) and I don’t think it will happen, so if you are a fan of hip-hop you’re not going to get it on the radio, and it’s been that way since the mid to late 90’s. The focus completely changed so you have to know the difference between hip-hop and rap. Rap would be your mainstream hip-hop sound, but because it sounds like hip-hop doesn’t make it hip-hop, so a lot of times what you hear on the radio is rap music and I don’t rock with rap music, some of it’s cool, but that’s not what I listen to. I am from the hip-hop generation and that’s what I listen to...that’s the sound that I look for. I like to listen to lyrics, something original, something that’s going to make me think, something that’s going to make me proud to be a fan, and quite honestly some of the music out now doesn’t make me proud to be a fan of what’s on the radio. It’s the same for R&B and Soul. Soul music is something that you feel in your soul R&B is something that you’re going to listen to on the radio. You can’t compare a Beyonce record to a Jill Scott record they are two totally different artists.

Femme Noir Atl: Do you see yourself working with hip-hop acts, creating beats for artists putting on more events,or hosting hip hop summits? Do you have any dreams of going further creatively as a DJ?

D.J. Malikstone: I love the music, music is my passion,but education is what I do, so my focus is to obtain an administrative position in Education. I would love to DJ at certain venues where big artists are coming in that would be amazing, but that is not where my focus is. I spin because I’m passionate about it and hopefully other people can jump on and enjoy it with me.

Femme Noir Atl: I definitely enjoy your set on Tuesday nights and I’m grateful for the opportunity to talk to you one on one about the music. I feel in life people are not passionate about the things they do; everything has to have a monetary benefit behind it. I write because I am passionate about it, and my goal is to uplift and inspire people the way I have been uplifted and inspired by others pursuing things that they are passionate about in life. Writing and talking to people pursuing things that they love to do with no expectations is uplifting and empowering. People lose passion because money may not always manifest, but I believe that when you are doing what you love the money and the gratification you desire will follow.

D.J. Malikstone: I found that going in on Tuesday nights is therapy for me. I have gone in feeling down, and I was able to release. Spinning is very therapeutic for me. Hopefully when people come out they will be able to feel that as well.

Femme Noir Atl: So what’s on your playlist? What do you listen to when you’re not working?

D.J. Malikstone: Little Brother, Slum Village, Mos, Talib Kweli, and Common are some of the artists on my playlist right now.

Femme Noir Atl: Where can my reader’s find you?

D.J. Malikstone: Facebook@ Kwame Malik Dunston , and Twitter@ DJ Malikstone. Cloud IX Tuesday nights from 6p.m.-11p.m. They have happy hour, half priced specialty drinks and appetizers all night. They have a full dinner menu @ full price. If you’re hungry try the turkey meatloaf it’s amazing, the collard greens they are amazing, the corn amazing, and the fish fingers for appetizers out of this world. Good food, good drinks coupled with great soul music will hopefully give you a different option for something to do in Atlanta on a Tuesday night. Atlanta has a multitude of things to do on any night of the week. I love this city; I love it because it has something for everybody. If you like mainstream, underground, art, whatever.... you can find it here. This is home for me!

Are You Pursuing Your Passion?

"Passion is Universal Humanity. Without it religion, history, romance and art would be useless" Honore De Balzac,French Novelist

All week I've been hearing the word passion everywhere. While at work co-workers were discussing passion for their work, on television people were talking about their passion for food, clothes, music etc. You name it and people professed passion for it. This theme resonated with me and led me to think about what my true passion in life is and how to pursue my passion everyday. In my opinion most people are not living passionate lives. Most of us are just trying to get by; most of us (me included) are just going to work to pay the bills because this is what many of us were conditioned to do. Many of us were conditioned to go to school, get married, have children, buy a house and try to be good before we die and hopefully along the way we can live a fairly comfortable lifestyle and save enough for retirement so that hopefully we can accomplish all of the things that we really wanted to accomplish before our demise. I have been thinking to myself lately that this is such a pitiful way to live, but unfortunately it is the American way.

Wouldn't it be great if we could travel and explore before choosing a career path. Wouldn't it be great if all children had a chance to explore their natural gifts so that at an early age instead of being lumped into a system that requires the same standards for every child, it would allow children to become creative thinkers. In other countries high school graduates are allowed to travel abroad and work their way through other countries to get exposure to other cultures and learn different ways of thinking. This is a valubale experience because it allows these young adults to discover their likes and dislikes and discover new perspectives on life and differences in the way they were raised.This creates room for dialouge and understanding of cultures different from their own.This also creates a deeper appreciation of their own culture, and it teaches respect of others that might not have the same perspective. This exploration allows them to establish global relationships that might not have otherwise existed due to stereotypes or ignorance of different belief systems. While some people know from childhood what they are born to do many of us have no real idea of our own potential because of the pressure that society has put on us to conform. We are forced to choose a path, or a career before we are even aware of the vastness and diversity of the world around us. Some adults remain closed minded and never leave their own city, much less country. These people have the false illusion that they are living their passion because their job has afforded them a comfortable lifestyle. How can we create change or make a difference without passion? There are many people who have discovered their passion and are making a difference in the lives of so many and I hope to be one of those people. I am a firm believer that you don't have to have one passion, but being able to identify at least one thing that you are passionate about is a start. I am learning that in whatever you do in life there must be passion to truly be fulfilled and have true success. Success should not only be measured by material gain, but wealth may definitely materialize when a true passion is being pursued. Passion drives people to keep moving when it seems like there is nowhere to go and your back is against a wall.Once you find your passion it's like a drug and it's hard to stop getting high. Passion is the flame that keeps the fire of innovation lit. A passionate person sees the possibilites and dismisses negativity. Passion can not be bought nor sold. Passion has built and conqured nations. So how do we find our passion?

I have challenged myself to look deeper into what my passions are and pursue them with fervent effort. What are you passionate about, and how are you going to change the world today?

To discover your passion please ask yourself these questions, and then get to work!

1. What would you do even if you didn't need the money?
2. Could you continue your passion into the late hours of the night even if you had to go the your regular job in the morning?
3. Would you be willing to live, breathe, eat and sleep your passion?

I challenge you to discover that which you are truely passionate about, and then pursue it with fervent effort.

~One Love

Back In Action After A Trip Down Memory Lane!

Hello All, if you have been looking for new posts by me I want to apologize for being M.I.A. I had a death in the family and was deeply saddended by the loss of my Aunt. I wasn't going to write about it, but I had to let my readers know where I've been for the past two weeks. My Aunt lived in New York City and had a great legacy. She is the reason I love music and the arts. She is one of the major reasons I love to travel. Her influence throughout my life was huge and she will be greatly missed. My aunt did not want a funeral, so we had a memorial service in Eutawville, South Carolina. Eutawville, South Carolina is the home of my grandparents, great-granparents and so on. Eutawville was where me and my sisters spent our entire summers away from the city. We were allowed to play in the fields and in the dirt with free abandon. My great-grandmother raised hogs, and chickens. There were fields that grew corn, watermelon, peanuts, and peas. There were pecan, pear, and fig trees in the yard. I loved my childhood there. Unfortunately after my great-grandmother passed away I never returned.

Picture from www.waymarking.com


Fast forward to 2012, and I am driving to Eutawville to lay my aunt to rest. The closer I got to the church, the more overcome I became with emotion. There were some changes to the town, but not many. The old IGA was now a Red and White supermarket, and the town built a new Dollar General and Family Dollar. The church that we attended every sunday was now remodeled, but that was it. Miles and miles of trailer homes, classic cars, boats, and dirt roads brought me back to a worry free time in my life. Of course there was no cell phone reception anywhere, so I had to stop and ask a shop keeper for directions.I forgot how warm and eager to help people in small towns could be. After living in a place where customer no service is ever present for so long it was very refreshing to be welcomed with a smile by a stranger, especially since I was lost.

Going back to my childhood was a humbling experience. I thought about where I came from and what my history is. I come from ex-slaves, sharecroppers, farmers,and business men who traveled North to make a better life for their children. I come from a family that started with nothing, and aquired land for the future generations. I come from a family of Sailors, Soldiers, Doctor's and Lawyer's. I come from a place where family is still important. I left there with new motivation for my life. I left there with new ideas for my blog, and with new ideas on ways to give back to the community. I left with a new confidence because I know that no matter what strangers think of me my family loves me for just being me.

I took a lot of pictures, but I forgot my camera at my Uncle's house. I will be posting pictures as soon as I can track down my camera, so I apologize for that in advance. Please look forward to weekly blogs, including Monday Meditation, What's on your playlist Wednesday, and more interviews. I am also excited about upcoming videos that will feature the one and only Femme Noir Atl.

Until Next Time...One Love!