You're Fresh....Stupid Fresh!

Taking time to meditate helps me in so many ways. I'm sure that everyone can relate to what I'm feeling when I say it's hard not to go off on people. Just because I don't learn the way that you learn, act the way that you act, dress the way that you dress or laugh at all of your jokes doesn't make me less smarter, less creative,  and less aware of what's going on. I myself like to listen, I like to observe, I like to contemplate. I like genuine conversation, warm smiles and silence even in the presence of another. I'm not that good at pretending I wear my feelings on my face. It's sad that long after high school some people are still concerned with cliques, and how others perceive them. I don't care about any of that; I never have and I never will. I've been there done that!

I was always waiting for others to include me and make feel fresh. I always needed validation from other people. I was never cool, as a matter of fact I was painfully awkward, and  it was always like people went out of their way to point out my differences. I didn't realize my differences and  my awkwardness is what made and makes me special. As a matter of fact most models are as tall as me or taller. Most artists are eccentric and seem aloof; every great martyr has been publicly humiliated and experienced a turn of events that knocked them out of their shell and into the forefront of issues whether publicly or privately.

I needed so much from others not realizing that everything I ever wanted is within me. Self discovery is amazing; you start to embrace the awkwardness that people once ridiculed and  you now see this awkwardness as something special. I’m something special,you’re something special, we're all special in the eyes of the most high. I’m fresh! I’m stupid fresh! I’m dope, I’m cool, I’m fly, I’m hot, I’m everything that they told me I’m not…..and so are you!  You’re dope , you’re cool, you’re fly, you’re fresh….stupid fresh as a matter of fact. Take time to go within. Spend quality time with yourself. Enjoy the uniqueness that is you. Enjoy the beauty that is you, your smile, your eyes, your hair, your toes, your nose.....just take time to appreciate the being that you are. For many years I wouldn't look in the mirror...I stopped taking pictures, and I let myself go because I didn't like myself. I didn't like the person that I thought I saw. I realized I didn't like other peoples criticisms of me. What they were seeing in me was actually what they didn't like about themselves. Since I started my meditation practice I have slowly begun to fall in love with me again. I'm in love in a spiritual sense not a physical or material sense. I realize that my personality is not who I am, what I wear is not who I am, but the person that I am is the light inside of me that can only be detected by others in search of light. Light recognizes light. Real recognizes real.

No matter how long it takes to accept yourself the way that the most high created you once you see yourself for who you are there is no turning back. You will no longer accept the lies that were told to you. It’s never too late to wipe the crust out of your eyes. It’s never too late to see yourself as you really are; it’s never too late to find your talent, your gift, and your purpose.  It’s never too late to shine.

You’re dope, you’re cool, you’re fly, you’re fresh…. you're stupid fresh!

~One Love

Carry On!

Hello to all of you that come across this post. I've been M.I.A l. I know. I haven't been my usual self. I'm usually as chill as a Zen master but for the past few months I must admit that I've been irritable and have had no patience for what I consider to be b.s... if you know what I mean. Choosing not to always go with the flow, choosing not to hold back tears, facing  and feeling what's going on inside can be very lonely because people don't really want to know what you are going through. They can listen to your problems and offer words of encouragement, but at some point they will basically tell you to get over it. So you try to get over it. I tried to get over this hypersensitivity and awareness of my feelings with little success, and now I was on the verge of having a mental and emotional breakdown because I just couldn't get over it.  This time around I had to feel what I was feeling....

I'm doing a lot better and I am ready to share and connect with people again. In going through this process here is what I learned:

1. Listen to the voice inside of you trying to get your attention.

2. Look within: devote 20 minutes a day for meditation and introspection.  This is a good time to write down what you're feeling. Some problems seem so petty after seeing them on paper.

3.Get up and get moving. It can be very hard to get out of bed and open up the blinds, but you have to do it.

4. Be your own best friend. Go to the park,  listen to music,  lounge around watching movies that make you feel good.

5. Turn off the news, Get off of social media for a while until you are strong enough to ignore the negative suggestions.

6. Aromatherapy helps tremendously when feeling down. I burn lemon oil during the day, and lavender oil at night to help with insomnia.

7. Find a group or a cause to get involved with.
8. Exercise is an amazing stress reliever. I love my Zumba classes and going to yoga.

9. Talk to your doctor,  you may need a blood test to check for anemia which could be an underlying cause of depression, anxiety,  or insomnia. Our body has a way of letting us know that something is just not right. You may need to adjust your diet or add supplements into your daily regimen. Increasing water and cutting back on caffeine can make a big difference in how you feel.

10. Trust yourself andbe kind to yourself so that you are able to be  kind to others. Don't force issues...be detached.

I hope these tips help you just a little bit while on this journey called life. Sometimes we have to stop and rest, and connect with ourselves  and stay true to who we really are and are who we are truly meant to be.

~One Love